Looking for the perfect Halloween jokes to spice up your posts, impress your friends, or give your group chat a seasonal upgrade? You’re in the right place.
This collection is packed with funny, clever, and totally teen-friendly jokes that deliver just the right mix of spooky and silly.
Get ready to copy, paste, and crack some smiles.
Below, you’ll find six joke-filled sections, each based on common search queries and packed with 17 fun, bite-sized jokes perfect for Instagram captions, TikTok posts, or Halloween parties.
Read More: Stone Puns
Funny Halloween Jokes for Teenagers
Why did the ghost join the band? He had a haunting voice.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite snack? Spare ribs.
Why don’t zombies eat clowns? They taste funny.
What’s a witch’s favorite subject? Spelling.
Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
Why do ghosts always win arguments? They go straight through your points.
Why was the mummy stressed? Too many wraps.
What do skeletons order at restaurants? Bone appetit.
Why did the spider take a break? He needed to unwind his web.
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport? Squash.
Why don’t ghosts lie? You can see right through them.
Why was the skeleton late? He didn’t have the guts to show up.
What do you call a helpful monster? A ghoul-friend.
What did the zombie say after a long day? Anyone got a brain snack?
Why did the vampire get a job? He wanted to make ends bite.
What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? Boo-berry pie.
What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music.
Clean Halloween Jokes Teens Can Share
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the stomach.
What do you call a witch who loves the beach? A sand-witch.
Why was the jack-o’-lantern smiling? He saw the candle bill.
How do ghosts stay fit? Plenty of dead-lifts.
What do you call a scared pumpkin? A squash afraid.
Why did the vampire skip breakfast? He was already full.
How do mummies relax? They unwind slowly.
Why was the broom late? It swept in.
What do skeletons study in school? Human-atomy.
Why did the zombie break up? He felt dead inside.
What’s a ghost’s favorite ride? The scare-o-sel.
Why do pumpkins sit on porches? They love people-watching.
Why did the spider ace math? She understood the angles of her web.
What do ghouls put on social media? Boo-messages.
How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle its funny bone.
What did the mummy say to the camera? Ready for my wrap shot.
What do witches use in hotel rooms? Broom service.
Short Halloween Puns for Teens
Fang-tastic night incoming.
Witch way to the snacks?
This is my resting witch face.
Bone to be wild.
Too ghoul for school.
Squad ghouls forever.
Bat to the bone.
I’m creeping it real.
Feeling fab-boo-lous.
Just here for the boos.
Ghosting all responsibilities today.
Pumpkin spice and everything fright.
Feeling un-boo-lievably cool.
Basic witch energy activated.
Monster mode loading.
Zero tricks, all treats.
Warning: may contain puns.
Cute and Silly Halloween Jokes for Teens
What do baby ghosts wear? Boo-ties.
What does a ghost call his mom? Mummy.
Why did the monster go to school? To improve his fright skills.
What do skeletons do for fun? Rattle around.
Why did the vampire blush? He saw his blood type.
What does a witch ride to school? Her broom-bus.
What do ghosts eat for breakfast? Scream-of-wheat.
Why did the pumpkin win the contest? It was gourd-geous.
Why do mummies love holidays? They get to unwind.
Why did the ghost do his homework early? So it wouldn’t haunt him later.
What do bats say when they meet? Hang in there.
How does a skeleton phone call start? Bone-jour.
What do witches ask at restaurants? Broom for one?
What do monsters use for snacks? Ghoul bars.
What do ghosts pack for lunch? Spook-ghetti.
Why did the vampire start gardening? He wanted to grow his blood oranges.
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite roommate? A candle.
Corny Halloween Dad Jokes Teens Secretly Love
Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid they’ll unwind.
What do you call a ghost comedian? A deadpan performer.
Why was the vampire bad at art? He couldn’t draw blood well.
Why did the skeleton sit out of the dance? He had no body to go with.
What do you call a witch who’s bad at magic? Not very spell-ful.
Why did the mummy skip lunch? He was wrapped up in work.
Why don’t zombies use smartphones? They can’t find the fleshlight.
Why did the ghost carry a notebook? For boo-lets.
Why did Dracula avoid parties? Too much garlic dip.
Why don’t monsters carry cash? Too crypt-ic.
Why do pumpkins avoid drama? It’s too seedy.
Why was the bat always calm? He hung out a lot.
What do witches say before a meal? Let’s get witchy.
Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.
Why don’t ghosts need raincoats? They stay mist-ified.
Why did the zombie read so slowly? He had a rotten brain.
Why was the jack-o’-lantern a bad friend? It was hollow.
Halloween One-Liners Perfect for Teen Captions
Creepin’ it cute this year.
Honestly, I’m just here for candy.
Spooky season is my personality now.
Ghouls just wanna have fun.
Welcome to my haunted vibe.
This look took grave effort.
No tricks, just treats and chaos.
Witching you a chill night.
Ready to glow like a jack-o-lantern.
Sassy, classy, a little spooky.
Ghost mode activated.
Fang you very much.
Broom hair, don’t care.
Scared? Never. Stylish? Always.
Today’s forecast: 100 percent spook.
Living my boo-st life.
Pumpkin spice but make it edgy.
Conclusion
Finding the perfect Halloween jokes doesn’t have to be spooky or stressful.
With this mix of funny, clever, and totally teen-approved jokes, you’ve now got all the punchlines you need to light up your posts, captions, and conversations this Halloween.
Let your creativity lead the way.
Whether you’re sharing jokes at school, posting on social media, or bringing some humor to a Halloween hangout, these lines will keep the laughs rolling.
Choose your favorites, share them boldly, and celebrate the season with unforgettable fun.
